PARENTHOOD.IE

By the time your child is three to three and a half,  it is time for him to give up the soother. A soother will interfere with your child's teeth by pushing them out, but if it is removed before the age of four the teeth will have time to correct themselves.

Even if your child uses an orthodontic soother it can change his bite, causing changes in the way the teeth and jaws close. This can lead to the need of braces at a later stage. The positioning of the baby teeth is important, since these teeth guide the permanent teeth into the correct place. If your child is an avid user of the the soother or thumb, it might push out his front teeth or create a gap between the upper and lower teeth.

While soothers are not as much as a problem that they are made up to be, as a parent it is important to keep to some guidelines. Regardless if your baby is breast or bottle feeding, do not start the use of a soother until the feeding is well established. The suction a baby uses with a soother is very different from the suction used for feeding. With a soother a baby does not need to use the same force of the tongue for sucking, as with a bottle or  the breast, and at a very early stage it might confuse and interfere with the feeding. It is also important, as a parent, to first learn and feel confident about your baby's needs, so you understand when he is fussy as opposed to really being hungry.

Soother can also interfere with a child's speech, particularly at an early stage when babies need to babble. Your baby also needs to explore, and the first steps of exploring is with the mouth. While you might be inclined to use the soother often, over time it is a good idea to phase it out to specific occasions, such as sleeping or crankiness in public places.

Some children are very attached to their soothers, but it is often us as parents that really are the culprits for their use. It is hard to take a stand, have to face whining, crying or sleepless nights again, when the answer simply lies in a little piece of plastic. Many children will use the soother for comfort, but also just because they are bored.

Another reason for your child to give up the soother is to let him learn how to self-soothe. If every negative emotion is solved with a soother, it will take longer for your child to develop emotionally.

While you might have the best intentions and plans of getting your toddler off his soother there can be setbacks. One of the main problems with children that are very dependant of their soothers is the replacements. A child might simply replace the soother for the thumb, not only is always available but it can be hard to control the usage. A thumb is also by nature a lot harder and will interfere with the teeth, bite, roof of the mouth and the thumb itself.

There are many inventive ways of getting your child to give up the soother, but most fall into two categories phasing it out or cold turkey. If it feels like a enormous chore, you could always combine the two over time. Start by phasing the soother out and  making sure it is not always readily available for your child. Do not automatically give him a soother the times you know he usually uses it, let him ask for it and try to distract him first. When you feel his need for the soother has reduced, you could take a firm step to get him off it completely. The transition is not always as bad as you imagine, but make sure to have a plan ready in advance. Make sure to keep an eye out for the thumb, which is a habit a lot harder to break than the soother.

Here are 10 tricks on how to make your child give up the soother.

1.  Phase it out

Decide with your child in advance what times he is allowed the soother, and slowly start phasing out the moments he can use it. You can start with the soother only being allowed in the car, at home and for bedtime.

2. For the fairies

Most children love fairytales. Choose a tree in your garden or neighbourhood, and tell your child a story of the fairies that live there. Collect all the soothers in a string and hang them up for the fairies. Go back to the tree the day after, and make sure to hang a little gift in the tree that comes from the fairies as a thank you for the soothers.

You could also give it to the soother-fairy, that works pretty much like the tooth fairy.

3. Bury it

A good plan for spring. Bury the soothers in the garden and plant some quick growing and colourful flower seeds on top. Tell your child that the soothers have started growing and are flowering.

4. Give it to Santa or the Easter bunny

Special occasions of the year are perfect to get your child to give up the soother. There is no time when we as parents have as much power as before Christmas. Get your child to give up his soother either for Santa or his reindeer, as a gift and proof of how good he is. You can always visit a live Santa and have the soothers packed up as a gift. The same system can apply for the Easter bunny.

5. Give them to a smaller child

Not an easy task for a toddler, but a good lesson. With encouragement and telling your child how big he is, try to get him to give his soothers to a younger child or baby. Accentuate how grown up he is and that only babies use soothers.

6. Inside a favourite toy

Knowing that the soother is near might be enough for your child. You can sew it into a favourite toy or teddybear.

7. Make an occasion

If your child has a particular love or interest in something, such as firemen, horses, etc. Offer a special day out where you can visit as a treat and at the same time leave the soothers in their care.

8. Rewards

Make a deal with your child, offer a special treat, such as fun activities or a special toy. Avoid offering sweets in exchange;

9. Change soothers for toys

Let your child choose a toy in the store and let him pay with his soothers. He will get something new and be well aware of what he is giving up for it.

10. Throw it out

If all else fails, go cold turkey and get rid of every soother in the house at once, while your child is asleep. Prepare yourself for tantrums, and try not to go back on your decision.