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In the stress of everyday life, juggling work, childcare and other activities that make your schedule burst, we focus on speed and getting things done as fast as possible. As parents we also need to delegate and thus helping our children to become independent and early on learn about responsibilities.

From the moment children can walk, you will notice they love to help out and will follow you as you do the most menial chores, cleaning up around the house. In our hurry to get things over with as soon as possible, we often deny our child access or the experience of doing these chores with us.

Delegating small tasks and chores from the very beginning, is a way of teaching children about responsibilities and family life. This will also develop your child’s independence and is a great opportunity to give plenty of praise for finished tasks. It may take you longer to get the chore done, but taking the time as an opportunity to interact with your child is as valuable as doing a puzzle with him. As grownups we have prejudiced preconception of what is “fun”, see our article on Free Play, we forget that children really just enjoy doing any activity that requires their and your involvement.

By teaching your child to take responsibility for household chores from the beginning you will hopefully avoid tidiness issues later on, as you will be teaching your child to be tidy and taking an active part in family life . A child should understand early on that things do not happen by magic at home and prepare them for an independent life as adults.

Rewards or not

Giving rewards for chores may be a good way to get an older child interested in contributing and cleaning up at home, but for a young child it is a hard concept to understand. Children under three years of age have trouble understanding time and “later”, their rewards need to come immediately making praise the easiest choice.

Chores should also be a natural part of family life and teaching children that chores cannot be ignored or handed over to someone else. Chores and responsibilities are what makes family life run smoothly, and children should not be exempted, but rather taught to participate. Family and home should be a joint effort from all its members.

If you choose to reward a child for doing chores, which is a perfectly reasonable route to take, be also aware that you are giving your child a choice. Your child may in the future choose not to take the reward, to avoid the chores. Or, you may have to increase the value of the reward to make the chore attractive.

Creating a chores chart

Chore charts can be created to give rewards after a certain number of fulfilled chores, but can also simply be a visual reminder of what needs to be done around the house. You can simply draw or cut out images of actions, to give your child a clear picture and a routine of what has to be done.

Your child may be more than happy to take on chores, but to keep it interesting for him you should rotate the type of chores he has to do. Variety will keep him interested and helpful.

To create the variety you can also create chore cards. Rather than making a list, you create chores in separate cards which can be handed to your child, individually or a few to do for the day.

Choosing the right chores

Make sure to give your child age appropriate chores that will encourage him and that he can slowly learn how to do on his own. Remember that with a small child chores are also an opportunity to spend quality time together, doing something useful. You may think that going to the park is more fun, but your child will just enjoy doing an activity he usually doesn’t take part of.

Children under the age of three will have to be supervised closely and helped during all their chores. Explain and show your child what the chore is, stand back and only step in to help out a bit. Give plenty of praise once the chore is done and mention it to the rest of the family, in front of the child.

Older children can do many tasks on their own and chores should be a natural part of their day. Don’t expect perfection, even from older children, and be prepared for accidents. Most important of all, for children of all ages, is praise for their work.

Here are a few tried and tested, age appropriate chores divided into two age categories.

Chores for kids under 3 years of age

• Filling the washing machine
• Hanging up the washing on a clothes horse
• Setting the table, starting with the cutlery and avoiding glasses.
• Help with a bit of cooking, such as adding spices
• Tidying up toys

Chores for kids between 3-5 years of age

• Setting the table, one item at the time.
• Hanging up the washing
• Tidying up their bedroom
• Vacuuming their bedroom
• Making their bed
• Sorting and joining washed socks
• Putting away their folded and washed clothes
• Feeding pets