It’s hard to have a healthy relationship between our children and our spending. Not only do they crave and ask for things, we also tend to give them more than they need.
More often than not we are our worst enemies when it comes to money and our kids. Not only do we overspend to show our love for them, but often fail to teach them about the value of money.
In worst cases we scare them to death by trying to imprint the sacrifice we make daily to provide for them. Understanding about money, does not mean children need to worry about it.The media is continuously giving us stories about families in economic crisis, and as we try to protect our children’s carefree innocence we won’t do them any favours by avoiding teaching them how to manage money.
The following words have probably passed your lips at one time or another, but you might want to change your approach to install a good and realistic approach to money in your kids.
1. “We can’t afford it”
An easy statement to throw out when you see it will end in a tantrum if you just say no. These days it might even be true, but you might be sending your child mixed messages if you treat yourself to something unnecessary. It is important to have a dialogue with your child teaching him how to distinguish between needs, wants and wishes.
If you can afford what your child is asking for there is no point lying about it, just to get out of a discussion. Either point blank say no or explain why you won’t buy what he is asking for.
2. “Of course you can have it”
If you won’t teach your child the value of money, who will? Caving in every time your child asks for something you’ll be paving the way for unreasonable tantrums of a spoilt child. It sounds obvious to any parent, but did your see yourself last shop buying your child a small useless cheap trinket, just to keep him entertained? Did you do that the last few shops as well?
If you get your child whatever he wants, when ever he wants, not only will he not learn the work behind earning money, but will also feel that he is owed the things he wants.
The easiest way to get out of buying things is to avoid temptation, but you can also explain before entering a shop what you are buying and that you won’t be buying anything else.
Another aspect of giving too much is that we often substitute things with time and love. At the end of the day your child will feel more loved being able to share his time with you, than you buying something that is meant for him to entertain himself. The Everest pile of toys in his room won’t make him feel more loved.
3. “I have to work to buy you all your things”
The last thing you want to do is to instil guilt in your child, since it is hardly his fault that you need to work. If you are working long hours or if your child begs you not to leave him at the crèche, you’ll have to find a better explanation for him. If you can’t give your child quantity, settle for quality, in terms of the time you spend with him.
4. “I don’t care if your friend got that toy”
Your child might be excitedly telling you about his friends latest gadget or toy, that doesn’t necessarily translate into a whining about getting it himself, even if he might mention it. Don’t get defensive, let your child tell his story and if he asks explain that you think he has enough toys, that he’ll have to wait to a special occasion to get it or simply that you don’t think he should have or needs that specific gadget.
5. “Ok, but just this once”
If you have set up rules about a weekly allowance, don’t give an advance on next weeks money or supplement his allowance with more money. You are trying to teach him how to manage his money and the first thing to understand is that he might have to save up to get what he wants, or go without. It is important that your child takes responsibility for his financial situation and you don’t just bail him out of it. It might be hard for you and him or even disappointing if he misses out on something, but he won’t make that same mistake many times.
6. “It is different for me”
Not everything can be equal and children understand that some rules apply to them and not to their parents. But as with most things in parenting, children learn from what you do and not from what you say they should do.
Don’t set up spending rules for them that don’t apply to you or the family as a whole. Children have a strong sense of what is fair and will spot a rule break a mile away.
Quick ways to teach the value of money
|
Get a piggy bank – even small very small children understand that coins
are valuable, so get them to collect small change (all copper) that is constantly
lying about? Let them buy a small treat with the money.
Family saving - get the whole family involved in saving up for a special occasion,
it could be the family holiday or something more immediate and less costly for young kids.
Work ethics – let your children earn money by doing extra chores. Not things that are normal
part of family life, as setting the table before dinner, but jobs that you might have done,
as hanging laundry, and for which they can get paid for. Have a clear plan of chores and
payment made up in advance.
Show the bills – take time to show and explain bills to your child, it doesn’t need
to be a heavy duty. Why not explain the phone bill, talk about the people you called
and explain how it is calculated?
Avoid snobbery – don’t look down your nose at thing inherited or that come second hand.
There is nothing wrong with inheriting clothes or toys, or getting deals in a charity shop
or at a sale. Instil rather the satisfaction of getting a bargain.
Pocket money – if you decide on giving pocket money, have clear rules on when and how
much will be given, be clear on what you will pay for and not and what you expect in exchange.
Some parents will give pocket money for a certain amount of chores done.
Never give an advance.
|
|
Do you have any great tips to share?