Wardrobe battleground

Posted by: Barbara on May 17, 2011 Print PDF

Tagged in: Untagged 

Barbara

One of my girls is dead set on changing the clothes I choose for her each morning. She just has to change something, every day. There is always something wrong with them, too long, too short, too this or too that. And every day there are three questions that echo in my head:

She is not even five, how will it be in a few years?
If I let her win on this small issue, will I lose the larger?
If I don’t make her understand that she is not the authority at home,  how will I deal with her teens?


Any laid back mum now will probably tell me to leave her be, not to bother with small issues as clothes. Also, once they start school the uniform will solve the problems. Good points…but.

While I truly understand the concept of picking your battles and would often advocate that course, there is something inside me that also says that it is better to lay the ground rules on small things. To create a pattern and be consequent, making your child understand that they can only push so far.

So I’m stuck on the fence on this one really, and I would say that most parents are. You simply don’t know what the correct route to take is, what will work and what will have the positive consequences you are looking for.

Having twins also gives you some perspective. They should be the same, having done the same things at the same time, under the same circumstances, dealing with the same parenting techniques I was implementing in that moment.  The last bit is a nicely written description of me either being very patient and zen motherly or simply roaring my head off at them.

My girls couldn’t be any more different. Having had the same experiences they still have different needs and different ways to accept or deal with any situation. One pretty much puts on whatever is left out for her, and the other makes the whole thing into a battlefield.

And the questions always remain…should I crush her now? Or should I encourage her determination? Will she become a little monster or a self-confident woman? Choices, choices, choices.

I guess that the only cold comfort as a parent, the only thing you truly can be sure of, is that you will absolutely screw up your kids somehow or somewhere along the way. And yes, they will blame you for plenty of things as well. So grin and bear, do your best, reconsider your choices once in a while, and cut yourself some slack.

Personally, I can't wait till September and my girls starting in big school, for no other reason that they will be wearing uniforms. And I can't believe I ever would think that uniforms would save my sanity.

Barbara_Signature

 

Normal 0 false false false EN-GB X-NONE X-NONE

Wardrobe battleground

One of my girls is dead set on changing the clothes I choose for her. She just hast to change something, every day. There is always something wrong with them, too long, too short, too this or too that. And every day there are three questions that echo in my head:

She is not even five, how will it be in a few years?

If I let her win on this small issue, will I lose the larger?

If I don’t make her understand that she is not the authority at home,  how will I deal with her teens?

 

Any laid back mum now will probably tell me to leave her be, not to bother with small issues as clothes. Also, once they start school the uniform will solve the problems. Good points…but.

 

While I truly understand the concept of picking your battles and would often advocate that course, there is something inside me that also says that it is better to lay the ground rules on small things. To create a pattern and be consequent, making your child understand that they can only push so far.

 

So I’m stuck on the fence on this one really, and I would say that most parents are. You simply don’t know what the correct route to take is, what will work and what will have the positive consequences you are looking for.

 

Having twins also gives you some perspective. They should be the same, having done the same things at the same time, under the same circumstances, dealing with the same parenting techniques I was implementing in that moment.  The last bit is a nicely written metaphor/allegory/reconstruction of me either being very patient and zen motherly or simply roaring my head off at them.

 

My girls couldn’t be any more different. Having had the same experiences they still have different needs and different ways to accept or deal with any situation. One pretty much puts on whatever is left out for her, and the other makes the whole thing into a battlefield.

 

And the questions always remain…should I crush her now? Or should I encourage her determination? Will she become a little monster or a self-confident women? Choices, choices, choices.

 

I guess that the only cold comfort as a parent, the only thing you truly can be sure of, is that you will absolutely screw up your kids somehow or somewhere along the way. And yes, they will blame you for plenty of things as well. So grin and bear, do your best, reconsider your choices once in a while, and cut yourself some slack.


[ Back ]