Oh The Glamour!
Back in the early days of putting together the Mammy Diaries, I always had slightly grandiose ideas of what life would be like as a "Published Author." The glamour of launches and book signings and the media clamouring for interviews... I saw myself cool and polished, jetting off here and there at a moment’s notice, always ready with a witty soundbite.
What I didn't factor in was reality. Or the fact that for the last few years, my main topics of conversation have involved poo (colour, texture, size and smell) and sleep (or lack thereof, mine and theirs.) - hardly the witty repartee I imagined would be par for the course as a "Published Author."
Add to that the fact that these days, I don't even get to go to the toilet alone, let alone jet off willy nilly to exotic locales... and somehow, my original ideas of life "Post Publishing," are starting to seem a little bit skewed. The following is a transcript of a recent phone call I took to arrange an interview for a local radio station, for those of you who don't know, "Mokies" is my youngest daughter's word for wanting a feed, slightly more subtle then her previous favourite, "BOOBIES!":
Ring, Ring!
"Hello? Hi! Yes, this is Maria, I... One second please... GIRLS! WE MARK ON THE PAPER - NOT THE WALLS!!!... Yes, sorry about that! An interview? The radio? No problem! I'd love... AH! AH! AH! NOT ON THE WALLS!... No, not you, sorry, I'd love to come on air, if we could just sort out a time that would be great."
(In The Background) “I NEED TO POO!!!!!"
"One second please..." (Frantically search for husband)
"Okay so! Where were we? Tuesday? Let's see... Tuesday looks great!"
(In the Background.) "OH WOW! I DID A BIG POO! LOOK DADDY!"
"10:35 works for me! Will it be a phone interview?"
(In the background) MOMMMYYYYYY I WANT MOKIES!!!!"
"Yes, I agree, the studio probably would be a better idea. See you then!"
Click.
Not exactly champagne and roses...
I'm starting to come to the conclusion that putting together a book is a lot like being pregnant, just when you think you're finished is when the real work actually begins...
Now if you'll excuse me, one of my bosses is calling me from the sitting room, and I think she needs to poo...
Maria
Mammy Diaries Blog
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About Maria Moulton
Originally from Canada, Maria Moved to Ireland in 2005 where she met and fell in love with her husband, Jimmy. Together they have 2 daughters, Lily and Anna who are also known as The Snot Queen and Tiny One. Active in Friends of Breastfeeding as well as other local parenting organizations, Maria is also training to be a Doula and Breastfeeding Counsellor. Mammy Diaries is her first book and she is hard at work on the sequel.
The Mammy Diaries is the result of almost three years worth of interviews with over 200 mothers who have given birth in Ireland. Between them they have reared over 500 children, changed hundreds of thousands of nappies and left God knows how many cups of tea untouched on the kitchen counter. They have stretch marks on their bellies and snot marks on their sweaters. Mammy Diaries is available at Easons stores as well as online at Mammy Diaries for €15.00 plus shipping.
