Just give it a try
One of my girls is worrying in me a bit. It is an issue that slowly has been developing, but over time has become more and more pronounced. I don't think it is anything to worry about, but as parents we always either take the mature approach of "it is probably just a phase" or the more neurotic one of "this will have horrible repercussions in the future of my child!"
The problem is not big and with a bit of patience we usually overcome it, but I admit it always takes me by surprise. For such a confident and self-contained child, my girl has an awful problem with change or trying new things. She really suffers when she is confronted with something new, whether it is a new experience, new item of clothing or new food she has to eat.
After plenty of total refusal, on my part, to accept a food refusal, on her part, we have come to the reasonable compromise that things need to be tried once...a proper try. This is something she will accept, and as long as I am satisfied that she has given it her best, I will let it go if she still refuses.
The same thing applies to experiences, whether it is going for a new activity (starting gymnastics) or having to do something different (staying with her sister at the Ikea childcare facility).
So I was patting myself on the back, for having come up with a child psychiatrist type of compromise, so calm, so adult, so perfectly Zen-motherly, that is until I realised that there are plenty of things in life you DON'T need to try out, even once.
I suddenly stepped onto very thin ice and my brain was going into knots as I tried to avoid the surprising pitfalls that appeared in my oh-so smart solution. Sure, I want her to be open minded, not so irritatingly stubborn, but do I really want her to try out everything that may be offered to her in life? Aaarrrgh! This parenting thing can really be a nightmare.
How do you explain to a five year old that:
"Yes, you need to try everything mummy tells you to. No, you don't need to try anything anyone else offers you or asks you to do....except dad, Nana, grandpa, your aunt and uncle, your teacher, your minder...ok, forget that....you don't need to do EVERYTHING an adult or friend tells you to do"
"You know what. Just do what mummy tells you to do and don't be so damned stubborn."
