Dog-whisper-parenting
I watched a lot of TV during the early days as a parent, apart from being a bit of a TV-addict I also spent a lot of time breastfeeding or just trying to relax between all the insanity. A programme I that taught me a good bit on child rearing is shockingly enough “The Dog Whisperer”. Apart from Cesar Millan’s sexy Latino personality, refreshingly lacking the macho stereotype, the program taught me one important fact of parenting – body language.
I used to startle my friends when I started going on about my theories on dog-whispering-parenting. I am also well aware how these ideas upset many parenting experts. It’s not that every dog training technique can be adapted, but an article in The Guardian last year, which I've kept in my “will read again properly”-file, finally admitted that more parents have taken this type of parenting tool on board. Children are of course not dogs, and I hardly have the kids on a leash. I even dislike those child leashes parents use when out and about.
At a talk child psychology David Coleman had a few years back at a local venue, he said that when you say something to your child what he processes is “60% your body language, 37% your tone of voice and only 3% the words you use.”
That is exactly the essence of the dog-whispering idea. Cesar would say to clients with aggressive, spoilt or plain crazy dogs: “Feel the command”. There’s no point making a request or giving a command if you feel unsure about yourself or expect your dog to disobey you. If you have doubts, your words might not say it, but your body language will betray you.
I have to say, with great conviction, that it works. At times I have to take a minute to really “feel” the command, since my kids can smell fear. I find it works particularly well at mealtimes, even with other people’s kids. Whenever I serve up dinner, as I put the plates on the table, I’m fully convinced that they will eat it, No questions, no thought of “will they like it”, and so on. If I like it and eat it, they eat it too.
I used to startle my friends when I started going on about my theories on dog-whispering-parenting. I am also well aware how these ideas upset many parenting experts. It’s not that every dog training technique can be adapted, but an article in The Guardian last year, which I've kept in my “will read again properly”-file, finally admitted that more parents have taken this type of parenting tool on board. Children are of course not dogs, and I hardly have the kids on a leash. I even dislike those child leashes parents use when out and about.
At a talk child psychology David Coleman had a few years back at a local venue, he said that when you say something to your child what he processes is “60% your body language, 37% your tone of voice and only 3% the words you use.”
That is exactly the essence of the dog-whispering idea. Cesar would say to clients with aggressive, spoilt or plain crazy dogs: “Feel the command”. There’s no point making a request or giving a command if you feel unsure about yourself or expect your dog to disobey you. If you have doubts, your words might not say it, but your body language will betray you.
I have to say, with great conviction, that it works. At times I have to take a minute to really “feel” the command, since my kids can smell fear. I find it works particularly well at mealtimes, even with other people’s kids. Whenever I serve up dinner, as I put the plates on the table, I’m fully convinced that they will eat it, No questions, no thought of “will they like it”, and so on. If I like it and eat it, they eat it too.
